Well here I am, a decade since my first faltering steps into the world of Wordpress and being Witchmountain. What started out as a student blog, documenting the last weeks of my degree at CCAD has morphed into...something else; part confessional, part diary, part ...I don't quite know. So much has changed, everything has changed. Looking back at that first post I feel the sadness of loss; some of the people commenting and offering encouragement back then are now no longer in my life ( the perils of having much younger friends who were bound to leave my path for their own sooner or later, I suppose) Times change and even my old art college has recently reinvented itself as The Northern School of Art (in my parent's day it was Middlesbrough Art College). There is happiness too of course; keeping a fairly regular record of things that have happened over the past ten years I can see that my work has continued to develop and hopefully improve, there are stories hidden between the lines that I thought would break me but didn't and there are joys which would never have happened without the sorrows. Fewer people read this blog now and the quick fix of social media has taken over but I still feel as though it was was of the best things to come out of my years at CCAD- I didn't get the dream graduate job and I haven't made a fortune out of my design work or become a superstar blogger but I'm still here making and creating. Writing has given me a place to work things out and attempt to order my thoughts, at times it has helped me make decisions and feel less alone - this blog has actually helped me make new friends and reconnect with old ones - so Thank You.
I'm sitting in the garden that isn't mine, my head aches but the breeze and birdsong are soothing, the air smells of something sweet. Two rabbits just ran over my feet not realising I was here, a vole popped out from a plant pot and the owl family in the ugly Thuja trees are calling to each other in broad daylight. I half expect Mrs Tiggywinkle to trundle past with her washing but today there has been a big fell race so she's probably keeping well out of the way ( actually in 3 years I haven't seen one hedgehog here in Newlands Valley which is odd) On the steep fell side opposite me I can see a crowd of people on mountain bikes being extreme, as is the fashion in these parts.
This is only going to be a short post because, as I said, my head is aching but it seemed important to make sure I posted something today to make things neat! I've been thinking about what to write for ages to try and mark the occasion and of course I will probably not say any of it now because I'm rushing. I'll just do basic housekeeping instead of rambling on and remind you that at the end of the month there will be an extra special draw for newsletter subscribers and website customers - so be one of those if you want to win something lovely. There are loads of events and exhibitions coming up starting with Art in the Shed in Osmotherley on May 26th. Always bittersweet for me but I can't wait to spend time with my very good friend Jane who puts this event on in her beautiful North Yorkshire garden to raise money for the Street Child Africa charity . I'll have new work with me including these Ghost Flowers in various arrangements ( pictured as work in progress) as well as some new card designs.
Now I'm going to close my eyes for a little while and dab some lavender on my forehead, hoping to recover enough for a little swim later this evening. Thank you for reading, especially if you've lasted the full ten years and traveled with me from North Yorkshire to this version of Witchmountain.... x
Reading :- The Dictionary of Animal Languages " Heidi Sopinka and "Wildwood" Rodger Deakin
The sun reappeared last Thursday and after braving the madness of market day Keswick in the Easter holidays I came home and trudged up the valley to lie down on the footbridge for a think. Lying on my back, on the sun warmed wood and looking straight up at the sky, the fells seemed to lean over me in a dizzying way that confused my phone into auto rotating the photograph I took ( the one below). I was only slightly worried that the more serious, less horizontal walkers on the tops would assume I had collapsed; more concerned that vertigo would send me rolling off into the water. I basked in the sunshine feeling a little like I was looking down on the ravens who were flying aileron loops and barrel rolls, apparently just for the joy of it. Perhaps one of those walkers will will read this and be able to stop worrying; my last post was a lesson in never assuming total anonymity or invisibility just because I feel alone - one of those runners I described passing me as I wrote, turned out to be the lovely Hester Cox. We actually know each other a little and I love her work, but the unlikely setting/circumstances for a meeting had made us doubt our own eyesight! I like things like that, I like connections and co-incidences, random meetings and making links.
sonder
Anyway, I was happy to be outside with the sun in my face. After an endless winter I'd started to doubt my love of the fells and their ability to provide any kind of solace. I had a lot of thinking to do and it's easier to think near water don't you find? I was meant to be contemplating ten years of Witchmountain, ten years since getting my fabulous degree and this blog post was supposed to be all fanfares and party hats but, well of course this is real life. I ended up doing a trawl though 10 years of blog posts for entirely different reasons. Here she is, the Queen of the Mountains, the last of the Westwood Studio kittens (my parent's farm), the end of a long line of familiars, the "bloody cat", the muse for Rupert's silly songs, she of the impossibly untouchable, temptingly fluffy tummy and lethal claws, the last of my Snilesworth companions... now only the imaginary bear is left.
The house is quiet today, I keep hearing the ghost of a bell but for the first time in my life I have no animal company. Hey ho Toast, happy hunting; I'm glad the sun shone on your last day.
Goodness! Are you still with me? I'm pretty conflicted about tragic pet posts -there is so much love, so very much, but I couldn't help feeling how lucky she was to be able to leave peacefully, with dignity and without pain. As soon as we returned from the vets a bird landed on the windscreen and wouldn't leave, Pied Wagtail, Polly-Wash-Dish, silly bird. Without voicing it at the time we both had the same thought, a transmigration of souls perhaps.
So...It's April 2018! Two exciting things are going on at the moment, the first is this...
The Folklore exhibition opened in Bristol on Friday evening and it looked like a great night, very well attended. The images are all fascinating with such a diverse selection of artists and folk tales from around the world. It was something of an honour to be included in this curated show. It continues until April 18th and I think someone should turn it into book because I'd love to read more about the stories and why the artists chose them, their working practises and so on. Any publishers out there?
The second super exciting thing is that I got asked to provide images for two poetry pamphlets due for publication in May. Polly Atkin, from Grasmere, has been been so good to me since I first met her online around the time I moved the Lakes. Her poems have at times wrung deeply suppressed tears from me and on a more practical note she once leant me her swimming costume for an impromptu dip in Grasmere so I'm stupidly happy that one of my cyanotypes will be gracing the cover of her latest pamphlet. The two are published by New Walk Editions and will be launched on 22 May at Five Leaves Bookshop in Nottingham.
More of that strange connectedness of life as my dad is just about to launch the project he has been working on with poet Alice Oswald. The exhibition of their watercolour and poetry collaboration opens in London on April 26th .Now the day is slipping past and I forgot to eat lunch so I will save my ramblings about the past 10 years and the joys of trying to make this creative life pay its way until next time when there will also be news of a prize draw and other such sweeteners. Thank you so much for reading.Here's that cat again...an old embroidery sample from about 2009 that proves at least that my photography has improved slightly in the intervening years.
Reading: I just finished a proof copy of "The Psychology of Time Travel" by Kate Mascarenhas, out in August. Watching and thinking about ...[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkoML0_FiV4&w=560&h=315] SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave
I'm sitting outside wrapped in assorted layers because today is the first day of British Summer Time, the sun has been shining bravely, the birds are singing love songs and it's (slightly) warmer outside than in. With my slippered feet on the table and coffee mug balanced carefully on the bench beside me I can look over towards Maiden Moor and Catbells where groups of stick figures are silhouetted on the summits; a pair fell runners just puffed past and as usual I feel slightly guilty for being still and apparently idol. With all this Spring going on it's hard to believe that just a week ago I was in Narnia, well Bristol. I travelled down by train and experienced the weird, dreamlike dislocation of hurtling through blizzards, the train tilting and banking like a fighter plane, through the occasionally looming Howgills, and eventually arriving in a city blanketed in white. City snow is not something I've experienced, not since a childhood winter in Providence, and it felt very surreal to be wandering deserted streets at 2am, following fox tracks and skittering about pretending to be a horse (this last means my phone is now smashed and held together with sellotape).The rare treasure of three days with BOTH my children was made even more special by the peculiar, cocooning weather. The highlight (apart from snack suppers by the fire, snuggled up watching Paddington films) was a hair-raising drive to Glastonbury on the eve of the Vernal Equinox, where we had hoped to fly Jake's drone for some exciting aerial photography. It was unbelievably cold though and so windy that flying was impossible so we just walked and talked and looked across the Vale of Avalon and wondered what it would be like to actually live there. A town so full of crystal shops, vegan cafes and people wearing rainbow jumpers that it's almost a parody of itself. It's easy to be cynical and laugh at all the serious New Age types but I suddenly felt very much aware of a road not taken, or at least veered off in my 30s, and wondered if it wouldn't be a more forgiving place to face life, particularly older age as a "crone", than the Lakes with all it's obsessive running, cycling and extreme swimming. I'm still a hippy at heart and there is something comforting about knowing places like that exist, that not not everyone over 50 has to wear beige Goretex, run 10k before breakfast and stop playing horses. As Louise Chatfield commented, on Twitter, it seems at least like a place that is non judgemental or about putting people in boxes. I can't wait to return.
Back in the North I discovered (on #WorldWaterDay of course) the the water had gone wrong again- this time either overflowing like Aira Force on to the doorstep or gone completely and I'm not going to deny that I feel at rock bottom, sorely tempted by some of the more outlandish forms of self-help therapies spotted in the Glastonbury Oracle. Unicorn interactions perhaps or a spot of Puppet Therapy; failing that a new umbrella so that the door step is easier to navigate! I love you Lake District but my patience is being tried.
Again I am pondering Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs particularly in relation to creativity - there are many exceptions of course and some would argue that strife feeds creativity but I do find it hard to justify drawing bears when I probably ought to be finding a more reliable way to help earn enough to meet the first level of the pyramid! Luckily I came home to a few welcome orders for wooden bears which ticks some issues in the "Esteem" box. I want to make more of these wooden pieces, perhaps a hare or a leaping fox... but so far this one has worked by far the best. I got some lovely new silk cords yesterday so he now comes with either a dark red or blue cord (or silver snake chain).
When I was in Bristol we had a look in Hamilton House where the Folklore exhibition organised by Gordy Wright opens next month. It's a great place with loads of events, exhibitions and studios - what a dream it would have been to have something similar here in the old Cumberland Pencil Factory. Anyway, I've been working on a couple of illustrations and hopefully one will be getting printed and included in the exhibition... which one though ?
I've drawn myself a little hut by a lake and maybe if there is still magic in the universe and all that positive visualisation thing works it will one day be possible to find the illusive "Home" a place to belong, to build a garden again.
Meanwhile here is some proof of Spring, slowly unfurling .( this time last year the pink blossom was already in full bloom and the white almost over)
Reading: A Line Made by Walking - Sara Baume. Listening to : The Hazel Wood - Melissa Albert and Spiro who make the perfect music for swooping along Lake District roads pretending you're in a film to.