November arrived in great style with rustling piles of crispy leaves, the kind you can jump in and throw about, seldom seen in recent soggy years. Autumn colours almost worthy of a New England Fall and blue mirror lakes reflecting impossibly blue skies. It may seem as though I'm constantly swanning about having photogenic adventures in perfect landscapes while the rest of the world knuckles down to an honest day's work... I can assure you this is mostly down to editing and curating, but recently I have to admit it's all felt like living in a Disney Autumn scene.Last week we had another emergency visit to the bookshop, a torchlit climb up Wansfell and an atmospheric Halloween night spent in the van on the side of Coniston. The photo above is a before shot; before swimming out to the little island in Moss Eccles Tarn,with icicle fingers, discovering a perfect red and white toadstool in the middle of the fairy kingdom and swimming back feeling smug (for being brave enough to brave it on November 1st) and blissful with the sun in our faces. I don't think the fairies minded being disturbed but I think I heard them laughing.After the swim we walked around the garden of Beatrix Potter's house Hill Top. The house was closed for the winter but what a treat to have the garden almost to ourselves... last time we visited it was so busy with groups of people and tour guides that we had to queue in the garden listening to an introductory talk and Sara had a spectacular attack of suppressed giggles so that tears were streaming down her face by the time we got in. What a perfect little house and garden, I could sit and draw there all day.Channeling my inner Beatrix (I'm getting to be almost her shape these days too) I've been drawing hedgehogs in quiet moments at work and expecting to be told off at any moment.

A book is a dream that you hold in your hand.–Neil Gaiman

Last week I was told I must clean shelves at all times and reading was banned even during the quietest days when everything was sparkling... this week I was told off for cleaning while customers were in. I'm a confused and resentful rebel; the teenager who wouldn't eat fish pie at school, the child who got in trouble at primary school for putting her hands in a tray of seed compost because she wanted to see how it felt, the frustrated artist disguised as a middle aged shop assistant! I've mused a lot about work in this blog and of course I'm aware that potential employers may read this and give the naughty troublemaker a wide berth but actually I think they'd be missing the point and the potential. Rules and regulations should also allow for imagination and inventiveness which is how things advance and grow and without which we are extras in a Samuel Beckett play or living a scene in Catch 22. I read this meme recently "people don't leave good jobs they leave bad managers" and looking back now I actually miss (the early years) working in a pub in Osmotherley when despite the long hours and low pay I would gladly have done just about anything for the manager Helen who had a healthy cynicism about our bosses, the job and a real skill in asking rather than telling. Helen now runs TeaCakes of Yorkshire, a lovely online tea company and I miss her loads.Hey ho, the perils of over sharing in a public arena... but life's too short not to say what you mean just so long as you're not nasty. Now it's almost time for me to throw some more logs on the stove and find another pair of socks to put on over the other two - November is showing its other face today, it's cold and damp and the leaves are mushy gold on the doorstep. Last night we went up Catbells in the dark to watch the fireworks, it was so clear and bitingly cold, sitting on the rocks drinking hot blackcurrant and Brandy and contemplating almost two years in Newlands Valley.I dug out this old sketch which I'd made after one of our weekend trips here from "home";  it seems so long ago now but the drawing feels more special now that I'm living surrounded by those colours , today the fells are just as black and topped with mist. Meanwhile in the land of blue and white more horses have emerged and a bear has left the Artfinder shop which is fantastic news and really encouraging.Keep warm where ever you are and enjoy the last of Autumn xReading: "When the Floods Came" Clare Morrall Listening to:  "Paper Moon" Ella Fitzgerald after listening to Ali Smith on Desert Island Discs

This week I am practicing the philosophy and art of hygge, or gezellig if you want an even harder word to pronounce, because its definitely Autumn now and the average temperature in this house during the day (even with the stove on) is 16-18℃. I'm creating the illusion of warmth and coziness by building a nest in my little room and wrapping up in a friendly old, orange wool blanket.It's silly that my fingers are so cold and it's not even winter yet but I can warm them up by slipping my hands under the laptop, which is on my knee like a hot water bottle.I've been driven a little bit mad by technology lately and the fact that I now have a computer that is so out of date the browser won't even load Wikipedia (I'm keeping my fingers crossed Wordpress stays as it is) and an iPhone with a splodgy camera lens and a battery life shorter than a goldfish's memory (since it updated to ios10 it lasts about an hour). These are actually tools of my trade so I really need to think about investing in replacements but built in obsolescence infuriates me; constant software upgrades and "improvements" never seem to be worth it and always seem like a plot to force sales but maybe I'm the problem; reaching a point where I'm resistant to change and all fuzzy in the head from lack of brain stimulation. The thought of setting up a new computer makes me feel exhausted so I struggle on with Hot-water-bottle-Mac and Goldfish Phone and may as well be using a Box Brownie and a ZX81...besides I can't afford it just now.After I finished writing the last blog post I was so wide awake that I ended up watching old TV programmes on You Tube (which I never do) until 3am, before reading in bed until 4. The thing I watched was "The Moon Stallion" which was a BBC childrens' TV series from 1978. I was on my own in the house that night, curled up by the fire watching something from my childhood- ultimate gezellig. I was struck by how much it had affected me at the time - when I was 11 and living in Wiltshire not far from the places in the story. It was slightly spooky. I think I was terribly serious and geeky about it when I was 11 which must have been either funny or annoying for my family, so watching it now I cringed a little in memory of my younger self and I wondered how a child of 11 would feel about it today; apart from a slightly cheesy fight scene it had aged quite well and will always be important to me, perhaps because it was part of  a year that marked the almost imperceptible "beginning of the end" of childhood. I remember being taken to see the White Horse at Uffington and Wayland's Smithy and frightening myself by trying to climb the steep grassy banks... it's an amazing place where it's easy to believe in magic. I've been back several times over the years and even took my children there, one hot summer day, to spin around 3 times in the horse's eye (don't tell English Heritage).You can see a little etching I did from around about that time in this post from 2012. I can see the etching from where I sit and the house does look so much like "home".Meanwhile in another century a woman on the cusp of 50 draws galloping white horses and lonely bears surrounded by papery flowers and wonders where the time went. You can see a little etching I did from around about that time in this post from 2012. I can see the etching from where I sit and theI've been slowly adding more pictures to my Artfinder shop as well as listing some new Winter Snow Bears cards on Etsy which are selling really well so THANK YOU to everyone who has ordered so far. It really is true that "Just a Card" can make a big difference - not just financially but by boosting confidence too, making it so much easier when people ask "what do you do". I've been baking too, making this stupidly delicious Ginger Crunch slice from the recipe given to me by Lucia's in Grasmere. More addictive than crack but hopefully better for you, despite the butter and sugar, it makes me feel happy when I eat it because it reminds me that some people are kind and generous and friendly in a world that isn't always so ( also a lot of these people seem to live in the Lake District). However I will soon be too enormous to fit in my wetsuit so I may have to learn self control.I hope you are feeling gezellig where ever you are. Until next time x 

Last weekend suddenly had nothing in it after plans changed at the last minute and for the first time in ages we had time to spend together, maybe even to go away. The outrageously unseasonal weather had been set fair for days and days and I'd met all my deadlines, delivering and collecting work at various galleries ( I made it to Lancaster despite Google maps directing me via Iceland); everything seemed perfect... yet I woke up on Saturday morning with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Sometimes it really feels as though these attacks of gloom and depression come from nowhere, that they're somehow imagined or self inflicted, certainly not justified but there's no doubt that the feeling of heaviness and inertia is real. It took a huge effort to get out of the house and into the van, I felt like a winkle being prised out of its shell and yet, as a pile of different books will tell you, nothing is better for a heavy heart than a good dose of the outdoors- if only you can get yourself out there. When I look at the picture above (of Coniston in October, not Lake Garda in August!) I get a tiny flashback to the utter bliss of being there and the way the water was so clear you almost wanted to breath it, autumn leaves and acorns bobbing about on the surface and the sun's warmth on my face. Hydrotherapy.

"Everything on the earth bristled, the bramblepricked and the green threadnibbled away, the petal fell, fallinguntil the only flower was the falling itself.Water is another matter,has no direction but its own bright grace,runs through all imaginable colors,takes limpid lessonsfrom stone,and in those functionings plays outthe unrealized ambitions of the foam. " - Pablo Neruda

I have almost finished reading Amy Liptrot's "The Outrun" which talks about overcoming addiction, partly by moving back to her childhood home on Orkney,  and her descriptions of swimming as well as the chapter about her online life really felt familiar. I was sad to be reaching the end of a good read but excited that this coincided with Bookshop Day and an excuse to visit one of my favourite bookshops Sam Read's in Grasmere. We had an indulgent morning treating ourselves to new books, drinking coffee and eating delicious creamy gingerbread from Lucia's and visiting Allan Bank to try and see squirrels. I've been to Allan Bank with various friends and family about 6 times this year and its always good to sit in the art room and do a quick sketch of the view through the window.Its such a wonderful place to just sit and be. I really should make a habit of going regularly with a sketchbook because its sometimes much easier to be motivated when you're out of your cozy rut and the light is coming from a different angle. Also there are squirrels.By the end of the day we we had visited all my favourite places and clambered up some grippy,(mostly) friendly rocks to the top of a hill (whose name I've forgotten, sorry) with views for miles. I was a new person, trotting along in the fading light, back to the van to light the Kelly Kettle and eat cup-a-soup with peanut butter sandwiches before snuggling up to watch "Bake Off" while acorns ( I hope) thudded on the roof making us jump. I have heard that elsewhere in the world there was music and dancing, bright lights and fancy shoes but for once it just felt good to be tired for a reason and having a real holiday just 20 or 30 miles from home.Finally, as this week see's the opening of Arteria's "Hygge" exhibition, I'm reading a book about the concept by Louisa Thompsen Brits which states that "Hygge is a feeling of belonging and warmth, a moment of comfort and contentment" and also  mentions the importance of "Shelter" ... this is the idea I have tried to express in some of my work ...or at least it is what I feel and yearn for in my own life. Part of the sadness that overwhelmed me on Saturday morning was the recent news from Haiti and around the world, of displaced people and divisive political rhetoric. I want to help but feel powerless. Back in 2010 I wrote this post about a fundraiser called "Hearts for Haiti" and I'm wondering about doing something similar... but for now here is a link to Shelterbox who I think offer really practical help, quickly, in disaster areas and places of conflict.Reading: "The Book of Hygge" by Louisa Thompsen Brits and "The Sunlight Pilgrims" by Jenni Fagan