March is upon us; the wheel is turning again, creaking at first as the brave new buds appear but before you know it we'll be rushing headlong towards summer and taking it all for granted. Do you ever wish you could slow it down, press pause at a certain point; the first snowdrops maybe, or bluebell time? In melancholy mood I want to savour every moment, my 50th spring; when you put it like that each new season has a greater value - how many times will I see the wild garlic or the willow flowers?-  and I know I'm so lucky to live in a place where those seasonal signposts are a daily joy. My dad recently told my brother he had lost his feeling for where he was in the year, unsure if it was snowdrop time yet, since moving from the farm to the town and so spending less time outside. As for me, I've been in the next door garden this week, discovering the Victorian "Barley Twist" edges of the lawn which I doubt have been seen for years under the overgrown borders and tumbled rockeries. The garden isn't mine, it has strange plants that I don't recognise and it makes me miss "home" and my own lost garden again, but it's a haven and I'm glad of it. I'm never happier than when I'm lost in a garden.Apart from my occasional trips in to the garden, to gather sticks or hack through the undergrowth, I've been busy with all sorts of odd BCTF preparations, whilst wrestling with guilt trips about my lack of a regular income. I call myself so many mean names before I've even got out of bed that it's not surprising confidence is low... but so far I'm managing to meet all the targets I've set for myself, new work is happening every day, spread sheets, catalogues and even the odd drawing are being created and I'm starting to really look forward to April.One useful thing I discovered whilst filling in last month's sections of The Makers Business Toolkit planner was that many of the people who buy from me via my Etsy shop or Facebook are people who have followed Witchmountain in one way or another for a long time. I really love that I feel as though I've known some of you for years, what would I do without you?! But, in trying to train myself to be more businesslike, I realise that I need to reach new people too; BCTF will hopefully do that but I wonder how else to do it? I've made a little survey just for fun and it would be great if you could take the time to fill it in , it's multiple choice, anonymous  and very quick. Thank you.

SURVEY

Now the night has crept upon me and the fire has got low, it's time to think about sleeping and talk to the cat about her plans for the evening; it's raining outside but I don't want waking up at 4am by beast scratching at the bedroom door like a demon.Reading: "Dip" by Andrew FusekPeters Listening To: "Dead in the Boot" elbowWebsite: Wooden-boy the arty adventures of musician Sycamore Sykes, including my favourite greetings card of the moment for book lovers and introverts everywhere :)

Today I have spent quite a lot of time standing next to the wood stove with my hands on the tin kettle, trying to warm them up enough to type or attempt another cyanotype print. Cold paws are really upsetting when you want to do things with them other than cradle mugs of hot coffee or rest them on the smooth kettle which radiates heat like a warm, bald head. I know I should go outside and brave the icy wind and occasional snow flurry so that I feel warm in contrast on my return... but my outdoor motivator is in Scotland doing winter mountain things and, since I have the house to myself, the plan was to get a lot of work done. Cheerfully, this blog post is about work, vulnerability and failure... because I recently heard someone on the radio say something along the lines of " Success teaches you nothing, failure is valuable because that is how you learn".Perhaps it's something about January and February ... all the muses are stubbornly hibernating and those over optimistic resolutions made in the warm flush of New Year seem forgotten, especially in the disturbing dawn of the Trump era. For a long time - as long as I've been keeping this blog/journal/thing - I've been conflicted about the need to present a jolly, polite, professional public face, so that I might sell work/get a job and pay bills, and the real desire to share the gritty, uncomfortable bits because they are real life, they are the "cracks that let the light in" according to Leonard Cohen. I've talked about it before... the fear of over sharing, of being to open, of being the one who doesn't realise their skirt is tucked in their knickers until they get home from the party. Anyway this week I had the rare treat of spending a lot of time with other artists, in various real life, coffee -and -cake situations. Lots of talking and sharing, encouraging and admitting to hopes and fears as well as comparing the realities of working days and financial concerns lurking behind the forced grin of social media profiles. I also read this wonderful blog by The Pale Rook which I only hesitate to share because it's so good you'll probably forget to come back and read my jumbled offerings.Here are some of the things we asked ourselves (in the context of our creative practises) ... if you had a million pounds to invest and guaranteed success, what would you choose to do? If you didn't have to think about selling your work to make a living what kind of work would you make? Is it harder for women to be artists in a single minded way or are we hobbled by some weird domestic guilt that persists even though we can apparently "have it all"? and even the dreaded question "are you an artist?"Well I didn't say there were any answers but in having the conversations I reflected on how I feel about where I am at the moment. In a world where there is too much of everything (except peace and kindness) and a bombardment of visual images from all directions, is there room for me and is it important to have a message - are the "decorative arts" just as valid?And so to failure... in an upbeat way. Have you ever had a cup of Yogi tea? The teabags all have little words of wisdom on them and the one taped into my planner says "Share your strengths not your weaknesses" (which may contradict everything I just said but never mind this isn't a dissertation) I'm writing this down so that I don't forget this lesson ... it is strength that takes you back to your work over and over again, despite setbacks and minor disasters; what makes artists weird and superhuman is that they don't stop, and can't even if they wanted too. What is visible to the outside world, whether it's a masterpiece of modern art, a book of poems, a hand thrown pot or a greetings card with a sketchy fox on it, is only the tip of a huge iceberg. Under the surface are a thousand failures, experiments with technique, frustrated walks when the landscape seems to taunt you with your lack of ability to capture what you want to say. Days when the coffee tipped on the drawing board or, for me this week, when a whole batch of prints on fabric washed completely away for no apparent reason leaving me with cracked dry hands and a pile of soggy calico. A whole day's work crumpled in the sink, a new idea potentially on the scrap heap. I beat myself up and feel like a useless creature, tell myself nobody else is as hopeless, look at other people's beautiful flawless work and weep...  but the next day I'll do it all again, solve the problem (a batch of calico with a coating of some sort that reacted with the cyanotype chemicals) and try to take heart from what I know to be true; it takes a kind stubborn courage to keep putting yourself through this. That is why creative people, in all disceplines, are a valuable asset to society, even when they keep odd hours or struggle with tax returns or appear to be constantly barking up the wrong tree ...they are the ones who look at life sideways and glimpse the stars you can't see if you look at them directly.And so, today instead of feeling guilty because I haven't made a print or finished editing the catalogue for BCTF, or sold the week's quota of cards on Etsy, I'm going to accept that sitting by the fire on a freezing Sunday in February is perfectly acceptable thing to do.Reading:-"Swing Time" Zadie Smith ListeningTo: A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett on Radio4.  Inspiring Websites: Two of the artists who I spent time with last week were Penny Hunt and Jane Carlisle Bellerby 

I've had the title of that John Lennon album in my head a lot lately,"Walls and Bridges". It's hard not to be amazed and mystified by apparently pointless walls when you're out on the Cumbrian fells and other upland bits of the North of England. As I'm labouring up a hill puffing and panting, I often wonder at the poor soul who had to build the miles and miles of drystone walls, often heading up the most vertiginous slopes, that drape over the landscape like strings of dirty grey and green pearls. The walls have been there for centuries and often mark the boundary between fertile land, intake and the open fell side -the boundaries must be mainly symbolic as sheep are very good at ignoring them. Recently there were protests all over the world against Trump's border wall plans and since I didn't have a banner or a nearby bridge I made a little paper banner for the bridge in a sketch I'd made last year and added my tiny voice to the others who were saying #BridgesNotWalls. Since then the stream of outrageous announcements from the USA has grown into a torrent and I watch horrified from my corner of a small valley in the Lake District and feel helpless, wishing yet again that I could DO something or at least articulate the opposing view without getting over emotional and crying "Why can't we just be nice to each other?" like a foot stamping child.Lying awake and worrying about the world isn't very useful for anyone when you're meant to be preparing to conquer the world ( peacefully) at BCTF in just 2 months time! Yes I decided at the last minute that it was important to take part again this year, despite the financial hit, as there is no doubt that it really helped to get my work seen (and sold) in lots of wonderful places last year and probably more usefully, focussed my thoughts on what it is I'm trying to do. I've learned some hard lessons and being a sensitive creature I've been on a real roller coaster at times ( and if you know me in person you'll know that I would never get on a roller coaster willingly... it would involve chloroform and heavy lifting gear of some sort). Despite all my reservations I'm really looking forward to it now that it's booked and I'm thinking of it as a bit of an early birthday treat...it's not often I get to stay in hotels so I've booked one with a pool so that Sara and I can float about relaxing after a hard day selling.This year I'm thinking of moving away from some of the smaller, time consuming (and therefore less profitable) things such as the printed and embroidered notebooks and I've been enjoying working with larger pieces of one off cyanotype prints, on fabric, to make lamps, shades and candle lanterns; these as well as the original framed work and some new greetings cards will be the main part of my collection. I've also been making some patterns to have digitally printed after getting hooked on Photoshop again. I made a pair of pyjamas last week using a pattern printed directly onto one of my Spoonflower fabric designs and I had enough fabric left over to make a tortoise fabric table lamp too; there are so many exciting possibilities.To get more organised and terrify myself to a jelly with figures, profit margins and sales targets I've just received my copy of the Makers Business Toolkit Yearbook which is a great idea from Nicola Taylor a photographer who I met when I lived in Yorkshire. I'm running a month behind, as I only got it this week, but already it's forcing me to look at some questions that you will probably find it surprising and foolish ( but not uncommon) that I hadn't already asked, such as "How many mugs or lamps or prints or current buns would I have to sell to actually make any money and pay the rent?" Well, pass me the chloroform, I'm off to get on board that rickety roller coaster to do the maths and then tick the boxes in the planner that state my tasks for today are complete  1. make cyanotypes. 2.write blog  3.look at numbersThank you for reading. By the way you still have 24 hours to take advantage of the 20% discount code SNOWDROPS in my Easy shop :)Reading:- "Swing Time" Zadie Smith                                                            Listening To:- Mind Games - John Lennon   Shop/Web:- Fat and the Moon I came across this via an Instagram post this week. Rachel had just found out that her home had burnt down while she was travelling and she'd lost everything. Her attitude was a revelation to me, so positive and strong.