I'm under my special blanket, by the stove, wrapped in 117 woollen squares knitted by my Great Grandma for my parent's wedding in 1962 (which turned out to be a famously cold winter so I'm sure it was welcomed). I've been watching the snow covered mountain tops, behind the house, turn all shades of rosy, sugared almond pink, against a sky of ice blue, as the sun set; wishing I'd timed my short walk up the valley better and knew more about camera settings. Never mind, I did that thing we should all do more of and just looked and said "ooooh" and was "present in the moment". Now night has fallen, the cat is snoring and my fingers have just about thawed out enough to type...but I feel a bit stuck if I'm honest. The pressure to maintain an upbeat public persona and maintain a stiff upper lip in times of adversity can be stifling (and dishonest in my opinion). Nobody wants even more gloom in the gloomiest month of the year but, for the record, 2018 so far has been ... difficult. I'm fully prepared to be optimistic , it would just be nice to have a little balance for a change, a "good news, bad news" situation instead of a general trend towards worry, jumping when the phone rings and eating way too much rice pudding as comfort food. Anyway, here is a seasonal antidote, something really fun and absorbing that I found yesterday on the Makelight website. Emily Quinton and her husband Stef have developed an app. called #YearOfColour which extracts the colours from your Instagram pictures and creates really interesting palettes of colour, grouped according to popularity, time of year and so on. I found it fascinating and surprising to see the results for Witchmountain (where did all that sandy beige come from?!) and it's a really useful design tool.I've been tempted to do one of Emily's online photography courses so that next time I won't miss catching the mountain glow.In the meantime I tried to take advantage of some beautiful winter sunlight today to take a few pictures of prints which have recently come back from an exhibition in Keswick and need to be listed on my website. I noticed an ancient, painted over nail on the porch of the cottage next door so I made a little outdoor gallery and wrestled with reflections. What a beautiful afternoon though; the kind of air that feels like a cool drink and signs of spring everywhere. The exhibition had been in Keswick's Theatre by the Lake and it was encouraging  to receive a few website sales this month, from people who had seen work there.The bumpy start to the year and my decision not to do British Craft Trade Fair has left me feeling as though I'm drifting a bit but that's not always a bad thing... who knows what opportunities and inspirations will be found wherever  that current takes me.I mentioned the Dream, Plan, Do journal in my last post and last week I made a start on the first sections of the book which aim "to help you focus on your vision, future and values." So here's a confession... I couldn't do it. I felt intimidated by my apparent lack of focus and clear direction after nearly 10 years of being "Witchmountain" but most of all I was unable to contemplate the question " How old will you be in 2030, how about your parents, children, partner?". As I say, it's been difficult lately (the stuff that makes us human - love, loss, ageing ...you don't need to know the details) and I still have't got used to being 50 let alone been able to imagine being 62! To cut a long story short I closed the book, retreated into another good story (The Night Circus) and decided to peek warily at the Facebook group that runs along side the planner instead. And here is why it's sometimes ok to admit when things are crappy and your life isn't looking like a styled Instagram shot; because it turned out I wasn't alone. Loads of other people were saying the same things or asking similar questions, dealing with all sorts of bad stuff and supporting each other. Encouragement and understanding and practical solutions abound in groups like that, and yes, you can end up spending too much time Dreaming and not enough time Doing if you're not careful, but I picked the planner up again and didn't feel quite so alone (so thanks Patricia and the Dream,Plan,Do team). I got a similar feeling to the one I got last summer, packing up after Art in the Pen, which was that I was slightly awestruck by the resilience and determination of so many creative people who are usually juggling all sorts of plates, some with jagged edges, and without those people the world really would be eternally January.In other news I gave away a lovely original hare print last month as part of my Newsletter Subscribers Draw and this month there will be another (nice) surprise for somebody so do subscribe if you haven't already (and tell all your friends). I'm also going to be doing lots of other random giveaways throughout the year as part of my celebration of 10 years of writing this blog.The little paper houses in the picture above are a FREE pdf download on my website in the Cards section of the shop where, should you be in the market for one, you could also find some perfect cards for Valentines Day ;)Enough sales talk, I'm off to stitch tiny cross stitches into paper whilst watching whodunnits on Netflix.One final thing about that planner...I haven't reached the page yet but I've gathered that people have to choose a keyword for the year. I have come up with two (because I fancy being self indulgent) they are RESILIENCE and CONNECTION, I don't think you can have the first without the second so this is the year I want to spend more time with the people I care about, keep in touch with old friends and building connections with new ones. If you're reading this then that includes you. Thank you xReading: "The Mitford Murders" Jessica Fellowes. Listening To : "How to Stop Time" Matt Haig ( on Audible) and "Charlotte Anne" Julian Cope SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

This  beautiful, wiggly wall over Lingmoor Fell is an allegory of the way my week - and emotional state - has been fluctuating since we walked that way on Monday. At one point on I was surrounded by botched printed vases, newly created landfill to prick my conscience, a mountain of useless greyscale printouts after my printer forgot how to do colour, no lights downstairs after all the fuses went (I looked in the fusebox but it seemed to be very windy and cold in there which is odd) and the DPD delivery driver stuck up to his axels in the mud outside. It has felt at times like I'm living in a kind of Krypton Factor game show for dummies, where every task has involved a massive hassle and steep learning curve; still, it's much more satisfying when something goes right at last if it has driven you to tears for hours beforehand. Walking in the brittle spring sunshine, arms pinkening and prickling with unaccustomed exposure to sunlight and tummy rumbling with too much coffee and not enough cake, we climbed to the summit of Lingmoor and learned some lessons from the survival bag we used as a picnic blanket. These lessons, and the continuing sunshine, probably helped prevent meltdown and/or murder later on- and besides, what reason do I have to complain? Imagine building that wall... it was immaculate, with each header stone at the same angle despite the terrain.I love the idea that you would ever be able to "relax and formulate a plan" should you ever find yourself actually needing to get inside an orange plastic bag for survival. Further down it suggested something to do with dried leaves, I can't remember exactly what. I think this winter there have been a few cases of people whose lives have been saved by these bags though so I shouldn't joke.So as Friday night turns into Saturday, I'm sitting by the stove, with the cat dangerously close to my feet, feeling a little bit of the same sense of achievement I get on reaching the top of a hill. I've rebuilt my evil website, after many tears and it even has a shop. It's a big improvement on the previous one so even though it's more expensive and drove me nuts, I'm actually really glad that Flavors.me closed down and forced me to do it. I'm playing shops and it seems so much more exciting than Etsy because it's my very own. The first two sales made me feel like a tycoon and I could never take for granted the magic of being able to do that without leaving my nest, from home, in the middle of nowhere.Most things seem to be slowly coming together in preparation for BCTF but it's frightening how much money you can spend on services and materials without even leaving the house; and how you think you've worked out the costs of things but then remember you need to factor in the sellotape, Paypal fees, tissue paper or sticky labels. Its fair to say I have felt huge ups and downs of mood and confidence this week and have been trying to be more careful about dealing with the downs. Sometimes it really is important just to relax and formulate a plan, to go for a walk or take time to read a book and not feel guilty; because the upside of being self employed, to balance out having no money, is that I have that freedom at the moment and I've noticed I work best in the evenings anyway. I'm like that annoying hamster you probably once had that slept all day, got vicious if you tried to wake it up and then suddenly started rushing about on it's treadmill at bedtime- making a sound like squeaking bedsprings (the rushing about is me, not the squeaking).And sometimes it's tempting to sew up the scraps and offcuts to make something new, because, at the risk of sounding like an infuriating meme, failure is often just a state of mind or a view from a certain angle, it just depends how you frame it. Well, it's time I let you go, thank you for reading and also for all the survey responses. I need to look at the results properly and apply my amazing analytical skills, before finalising my master plan, so for now it's back to relaxing and dreaming of more days like these. Dipping toes into achingly cold water till the blood fizzes like champagne, winter dimmed eyes blinking in the light and you can almost feel the vitamin D soaking through your skin.“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.” John Muir 

I'm back in my box room nest with a mug of freshly brewed coffee, while the autumn wind shakes the Sycamore tree outside the window. I've been in that edgy, change of seasons mood lately; not sleeping well, writing whole novels in my head in the small hours, only to forget that perfect opening sentence and the motivation to capture it,  as soon as I'm properly awake. An owl has been calling in the branch right outside the bedroom and I imagine that it could look in through the arrow slit windows and see me, sleepless and lost in a world of memories, half baked plans and good intentions. I hear it screeching "terrrr-wit" and wait for the answering whispery "hoooo" that sounds as if it could be coming from right next to me, perched on the headboard like in Mr Magnolia by Quentin Blake.The fells seemed to turn burnt umber overnight, the air is spicy with autumn scents and my favourite time of year in the Lake District has begun. The only thing I'm missing is the long days that meant there was time to swim after work; as it is we are wondering how long we will be brave enough to brave the cold water (or more importantly the cold wind on the shore as you try to struggle out of your wetsuit in a polite but speedy manner, stumbling about, bent double,often hobbled at the ankles by skin tight neoprene.) It's ok once you're in though and I've become a big fan of swimming in the rain when the water becomes spiky and textured like sparkling Artex and the raindrops momentarily stay on the surface like little pearls.  I want to be able to paint it, or film it or capture it somehow so I can show you.Back in the "studio"  I've been busy getting things ready for a couple of exhibitions. Unsold work has been returned safely and sold work has been invoiced, allowing me to realise that I have made the basic error of royally ripping myself off by paying too much for framing and not charging enough to allow for gallery commission - which in some cases is over 50%. One piece which sold for £175 actually earned me £6 after all expenses!  I am not a businesswoman obsessed with making a fortune but I'm learning the hard way and after discussing this over and over again with other artists and makers the conclusion is always the same... just because we can't afford the art/craft we love, it doesn't mean we should devalue our own. A good friend of mine makes beautiful mosaic birds...she cuts the wooden bird silhouette, uses hand picked and cut fragments (often rare glass with precious metals), grouts, seals and adds hanging hooks. Each bird is beautiful, unique and  takes at least a day and a half to make... what is a fair price? We are so used to things being "affordable" by which we usually mean mass produced by low paid workers in other countries, that even in the gift shop where I work I regularly hear people muttering that something is too expensive when it is really a very fairly priced item, mass produced in England! We seem to have lost sight of "value" in anything other than monetary terms. I'm not sure what the answer is.Well I do apologise for getting on my soap box as usual, I could tie myself in knots and, being over sensitive and ridiculously passionate I'm likely to slip on the soap and fall flat on my face.  Better to keep stitching and muddling through.Well, its almost time to go hunting in the kitchen for supper and in the hope that Rupert has decided to bake something fabulous to fatten us up for winter. The oven fused all the house electrics last week so we spent last night on the floor with our heads in the oven, fitting a new element and feeling pretty smug about being able to mend stuff. It took two people though, not like the instruction video on Youtube and I felt as though I was channeling Sylvia Plath at one point but honestly, how did people ever know how to do anything before the internet?I've just found out about an exhibition inspired by Alan Garner's "the Owl Service" book and had just listed this cushion called "She wants to be flowers" in my Etsy shop. It is definitely one of my very favourite books, written in the year I was born, so I'll be making every effort to visit the exhibition as well as Blackden House. Thanks to Natalie for the information.Until next time, a belated happy autumn equinox to you all where ever you may be. x